And so this is...

Welcome to the New Year! I am resolved not to be melancholy in this post, but the gray day outside and the quiet inside may override my intentions. Ah well...

Christmas was lovely, though the short visit to Calgary meant only time to see family. Upon our return, I managed to seal our coffee and end tables, put up a wire shelf in the front closet, cleaned every room in the house except the bathrooms, did a little bit of knitting, and even took one whole day for myself... almost. After about nine hours of World of Warcraft, I started to get antsy. I hadn't done anything productive outside the game yet (in-game, I was extremely productive, but it's a game...). What was wrong with me? So I went upstairs and did the dishes and cooked dinner. I still felt completely guilty. I felt I should have cleaned the bathrooms, done the dishes earlier, shovelled the two millimetres of snow off the driveway, folded the drop sheet, taken the garbage out, done something but relax and take a bit of time for myself. It's interesting, actually. This is something I have to work on in my psyche. I know this, but to see it manifested so clearly... At 9:30 in the morning, I didn't feel at all bad about taking a day for myself, but the more time I did take, the worse I felt about it. I must consider this more.

Anyway, no melancholy! I have decided to make a To-Do list for myself for 2007. These aren't resolutions, because resolutions just cry out to be broken. No, it's more of a wish list, or an accomplishment list to reflect on next year.

1. Stop rereading. Perhaps because I haven't been feeling quite right of late, I find myself rereading when I do sit down to read. Books can be like comfortable sweaters, or hot chocolate and a blanket. You surround yoursef with books that are broken in, that you know will warm you and make you feel better. But I have five bookshelves full of books, and I've maybe read half of them. Not only that, but I got a ton of reading material for Christmas! I have purchased or asked for these books because the subject matter interested me, or I liked the author. I should not be afraid to partake in them, even if they are not worn in. So my wish for 2007 is to read new books, not old ones. I won't set a number; 12 seems too low, but that may be all I find time and energy to do. But I want to read new books.
   
   
2. Obtain a healthy weight. I made it to this week without gaining more than the first weighing, but I do attribute that to dropping 10 lbs while I was sick. So next week, once I return from Winter Camp, I'm calling up the gym for my intake session. This will be the first step: to try to enjoy exercising again.
   
   
3. Finish the hat. Okay, it's not a hat. It's a blanket. But it looks like a hat! I am nearly halfway through colour 4 of 9, but each colour takes longer and longer as the stitch count increases. But I am determined. I will do my best to finish the hat, if only because the exercise of knitting may be good for stretching out my arm nerves. I also wish to make Harry Potter scarves to donate to the work building's charity Silent Auction next year. And depending on how long they take, I might even be persuaded to make a scarf or two for the rabid Harry Potter fans that find themselves in my circle of friends. :) But you'll have to tell me which house you belong in, so do a bunch of those online Sorting Hats to be sure!
   
   
4. Relax. Mike will be pleased to hear this one. But the simple fact is, eventually, there will be nothing left to do around the house but special projects, like the useless closet or the garden, and the weekly cleaning. There will be no more unpacking, no more organizing, no more purging, and when that happens, I envision myself rattling around, unwilling to sit down and take some time, but out of things to do, like Kathleen Turner in The War of the Roses. I don't want to be her. I don't want to feel bad sitting down to read, or knit, or watch M*A*S*H, or play WoW, Katamari, or Animal Crossing. So I will try to create a mental place where I don't. I don't expect this to be easy, but I'm certainly going to give it my best effort.

It's not a long list, but it's something, and I will revisit in next January to see how well I've fulfilled my own wishes. In the meantime, best wishes and hugs to all of you, and the best for the New Year!