The Times, They are A'Changing...

Nearly three months to the day since I filled out the assessment form, yesterday night I finally had the conversation with the holistic nutritionist that I've been wanting to have. This is the conversation that talks about what's going on with me, and what we can do to try to resolve things. And here is what I gleaned from the conversation. Please forgive how disjointed it's going to be, but the conversation was an hour and a half long, and at least the last half hour was after 9 pm, which is when my brain smacks me upside the head and says, "You! No thinky!" So I'm not sure how much of that last half hour I retained or understood. But here we go.

• My adrenaline system is screwy. My cortisol levels are about 200 nmol outside the recommended range (the doctor didn't want to worry until it was into the thousands, though). Cortisol has this lovely side effect of causing the body to store energy as fat. This is part of the reason I couldn't lose weight last year, no matter what I tried.
  
• My digestive system is screwy. I have an underactive stomach, so it's not doing a great job digesting food. This sets up a whole host of other related problems, including protein leakage (which the body doesn't see as protein because it's not broken down into amino acids, and sets the immune system on them, meaning my immune system is doing what my digestive system should be, and not what it should be), liver overload (so toxins aren't completely cleaned out of the system, and this leads to overall pain and inflammation), and candidiasis.
  
• My hormones are screwy. I have too much estrogen, which is why I had (before birth control) terrible menstrual symptoms. This is controllable, eventually, without birth control.
  
• My thyroid is screwy. I'm exhibiting hypothyroidism, which is usually preceded by a period of hyperthyroidism (everyone remember five years ago when I went from 220 lb to 165 in about six months?).

So what does this mean. What does this all mean, besides I'm continuing my trend of being an interesting subject, someone to write medical journal articles about.

Well, it means the times, they are definitely a'changing. We're doing prep work until January. Why? Because no one is going to be able to do a complete cleanse over Christmas, and it's just not fair to ask them to. So we're going to set the stage, get some stability back into the system, and then January, go full bore. Sugar and alcohol are going to be gone. Wheat for the most part too. And our entire eating philosophy is going to have to change because (and I remember this clearly from last night) she said that we could have starches and vegetables for a meal, or vegetables and protein, but by no means should we be having starches and protein. And what have we been eating, practically every night? Starches and protein. This is going to be a paradigm shift.

But guess what I can have! Guess guess guess guess guess!!! FLATBREADS!!!!!!

I wish I remembered the whole conversation more clearly. I wish I remembered what it was she said about osteopenia, but that was towards the end of the conversation, and I remember just hearing the word osteopenia and commenting on it. It was just too long, and too late at night, and my brain went into information overload even before it started shutting down for the evening. But there'll be documentation coming to me soon, including something about what to take out of my pantry. When I get that, I think I have one of two options: either spend December trying to eat the stuff that doesn't make the cut, or give it away. Does anyone need a pound of sugar with only a little bit of it used?

And Mike's going to be going through this with me, so hopefully that's a good thing. I apologize right now, love, for all the weird stuff I'm going to be making us eat. Hopefully we can find stuff we like just as much as rose sauce, stroganoff, and Uncle Dave's, if those things become on the banned or unmodifiable list...