A possibly scary post

If you don't want to hear about my breasts, stop reading now.

So the dress that I bought for Sheila and Nathan's wedding is lovely, but with a low-cut back. I realized upon buying it that new "hardware" was required, and would probably have to be ordered, so yesterday, I trundled down to the local specialty women's garment store with the dress and the thought of having to spend at least $150, if not more, on something to support me for a day. I showed the dress to the salesladies, and they both gave me frowns.

"Put it on," they said. "Let's see what we can do."

So I did. First try was an extender sort of thing, but that didn't bring the straps down far enough at all.

"Bustiers won't go down any lower either," they said, "and with an 'E,' strapless is next to useless."

We thought for a while. "Just..." one of them said. We looked at her. "Take the bra off," she said. "See how that looks."

Okay then. But you know the reason I'm here is because I don't want/can't go without, right? Back to the changeroom, some contortions, and then I came back out.

Their consensus was that I looked fine. "I know it feels heavy," said the one. "But you don't really need one. You're young. Your breasts are perky."

...

Perky?!

"Spend some time walking around the house like that. Get used to it."

sigh

So instead of a $200 bustier, I walked out with seven pairs of stick-on nipple covers for $7. I felt, then, that I could justify spending close to $100 on materials for a knitted shawl, as the one I was working on was turning out, but just not the way I'd hoped for the dress.

Those of you who are coming to the wedding will now know my deep, dark secret. But it's hard not to share a word like "perky."