Sunnier!

I just completed my final exam! No more essays hanging over my head! No more feeling guilty about not finding the time to study! At this point, I don't even care if I got a good mark on it!

And in some ways, I feel bad about being so relieved that the course is finished. But I will take this time to recover, and revisit the upgrading and Masters idea. Although it is still something I would like to do, I have been considering the effects it seems to have on my physical health and well-being, and must face the fact that school, any school, compounds my current physical ailments.

On the positive side, my hand hurts less than I expected it would after writing the test. I suppose the taped wrist helped a great deal. On the slightly less positive side, evil, evil stackable chairs do not help a body already in flux due to vehicle accident. Ow...

But I am happier now. Still hurting, still tired, but happier.

Car-ma

Any vehicle accident I have been in involves Edmonton. My first one happened on the way to Edmonton for a tournament. The second was when my car was parked outside K&D's place when I started working up here. The third was driving back to K&D's at night from meeting the fencing bus. And the latest, this past Monday, was on my way to work, where I was the front vehicle in a three-vehicle fender-bender. And while I felt okay that day, I don't feel so good now. And I have to hand-write a three-hour final tomorrow, which with how painful my hands have become, I wasn't looking forward to in the first place. Joyous.

Mom says that I should sell my car and get a new one, because there's obviously some bad karma between my Grand Prix and Edmonton. Alas, 'tis not in the budget right now, as Mike just bought a new car, and we can only afford one car payment at a time. Someday.

In the meantime, I will just try to ignore the growing pain in my shoulder and neck, write my final tomorrow, be miserable all weekend and possibly after, and then try to recover from all the machinations in my life that have conspired to leave me in pain and unable to concentrate for very long, or relax.

I so didn't mean for this to be a depressing post, but I hardly slept at all last night, and I cannot seem to gather enough positive thoughts right now to put down in text. Forgive me; I will try to be sunnier when I post next.

Thoughts on caffeine

In the past year, it's become increasingly obvious that I am no longer a night owl, thought I'm not too much of a morning person either. As a result, if I want to stay up a little later, I usually have a can of Coca Cola. As of this weekend, I wonder if that's such a good idea.

Of the three weekend nights, I had my caffeinated beverage of choice on two of them. Friday night, I drank it around 9 pm. The end result was that when I went to bed around 2:30, I couldn't close my eyes. I felt tired, but... not... Eventually, I managed to get to sleep. Saturday, I declined to drink any caffeine. I barely made it to 10, and that was a major struggle. Sunday, Mike asked me if I wanted a drink, and since it was only late afternoon, I thought I would be safe with another can of Coke. Surely the caffeine would run through my system before bedtime. Alas, I forced myself up the stairs close to midnight, but again, I lay in bed with my eyes open for a good long while.

This leaves me in a delicate position. If I want to stay up later and spend time with Mike, or any friends or family who happen to stop by, I risk staying up far later than I should, because I still wake up between 6 and 7 a.m., regardless of when I fall asleep. Yet, if I don't use caffeine in these situations, I end up sluggish, slurry, and useless company, which negates the entire purpose of socializing.

Is it the type of caffeine? Should I try cups of Earl Grey tea or hot chocolate instead? Those are probably better for my body than the carbonated caffeinated wonder I've been drinking. I expect this will have to be an ongoing experiment. I will keep you informed.

I plan tomorrow to go get two or three otocinclus for the fishtank, as we finally have enough algae to support them. I wish we could throw them in with the two bettas, because a full clean on their tanks to remove the bright green growth is becoming a weekly thing, but alas, no. I worry for Stripes; she hasn't moved much in about a week, though she is still alive. We also discovered a minor miracle on Mike's birthday; a baby sunset platy. We think that it was eaten shortly after discovery, because only Dad and Mike saw it. It was gone by the time Mom and I came home, though they did manage to get one picture of it, which I will post sometime. Dad thinks we should go get a male platy as well, so we won't have to wonder about immaculate conceptions or the gestation period of a platy any more.

Ow... Owowowowowowowow

Yesterday was an interesting study in helplessness.

Every spring, I rediscover which shoes are bad to walk in. Usually, this entails a small blister which hampers me for about a day or so. Not so this year. I am the proud (?) owner of five blisters, of which only the two on my heels potentially deserve the adjective "small," since they're smaller than the others.

I have also been fighting with my hands, who have not liked essay writing in the least. They felt better after my chiropractor adjusted them yesterday... for a little bit, at least.

But when it came to 9 pm last night, I gave up. I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything with my hands. I just sat there, unwilling to move unless it was to go up to bed, which was too early yet, and I couldn't hold up a book to read, so I might as well just stay where I was. It was interesting, in an unpleasant sort of way. Unfortunately, today looks to be more of the same, though hopefully I can make it a little longer.